Please read “About this project and the Author” for more information on my project. In this excerpt, Annie left a note for Daryl before she left…
Every onece in a while…you feel the need to “tweak”…!
“I had a drink to help me clear my mind of what had just happened and went to join her in bed less than an hour later, hoping she had calmed down. I wrapped my arm around her and since she said nothing, I figured the fight was over. She must have waited for me to fall asleep to write the letter, put it on the pillow next to me and leave. Annie had told me a few times that, as a publicity writer, she didn’t feel her creativity was quite challenged enough. She is actually very good with words and her note was quite the reminder of that.
We have been good together from the very moment we met. For a while, I believed we could be even better. I believed we could be great. I believed we were worth this much. I believed. Before tonight.
I have given you many chances to explain, at your pace and in your own words, the reason behind these silences of yours. The fight we had earlier made it clear that my desire to know what makes you unavailable to me when I want to be with you the most, is secondary to your need to hide it from me. Beyond your words and their meaning, it was the gesture of trust and the closeness I was hoping it would bring to us that I was looking forward to. This isn’t me trying to steal your secrets. The memories and experiences of your past will always be yours, wether you accept to recite them out loud in my presence or you choose to let this obvious pain you carry inside of you, darken some of the most precious moments we could have together.
When we are alone Daryl, I can actually feel the sun rising on us as a promise of that greatness I so wanted for us. But every time you retreat behind this wall you have built between me and your memories, the shadow it casts on my heart chills my affection for you. I have always believed that, in order to know where we are supposed to go in life, we must first know and understand where we come from. I can’t see our future if I can’t see your past and I refuse to live dishonestly by pretending “it” does not exist.
So open up to me. Trust me. I assure you, no matter what it is you end up revealing to me and regardless of how sad or terrifying you may fear your words would be, nothing could ever change what I see when I look at you; a strong, beautiful man who lives his life with an almost perfect integrity, the value I cherish above all.
I will want these tears back.
I will see you in a few days when I am calm again,
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This project is entirely written on an iPad