Please read “About this project and the Author” for more information on my project. In this excerpt, Daryl feels the aftermath of a new family without a transition…
“I stayed in the principal’s office until Danielle came and picked up. Instead of going to school, we spent the afternoon together. It felt good to be with her. Her words of comfort, as always, worked their magic on me and I was able to breathe better, see more clearly ahead of me and slow down my heart a little. Later she drove me to my new home and said goodbye. It would be the second to last time I would see her.
The transition from one family to another without spending time in Ville Joie was far from easy. I was confused upon waking up in my new home the first couple of mornings, thinking I was still with Gerard and Grace. I was given the opportunity to take a few days off school to adapt to my new life but I refused because I wanted to keep seeing my friends, who were now the only familiar faces around me. After the initial shock of my arrival, I got to meet the rest of my family at my new grandparents’ home which was within walking distance from our house. It was a big, beautiful and close knitted family. I had great parents, a beautiful home, the best extended family anyone could possibly hope for. It was finally all there if front of me, I was finally fully aware of what it took to make it mine and I was so exhausted I was struggling to reach for it.
The weight of the shame of my failure with Gerard and Grace, added to the weight of my previous failures, was pressing hard on my shoulders. I began bringing myself down and calling myself names, with “no good and “stupid” as the common ones. In a matter of days, my ten year old mind had answered the big “why me?” question and had placed the blame on the only one constant in my life; myself. I was give many opportunities to make a family happen but, each time I had failed to please enough those who gave me a chance at it and, since there was nobody else around from my past, there was no one else to blame but me.
I was so conscious of my every move and so afraid of doing something wrong, I sat in the living room of my new home and did as little as possible hoping that, if I did nothing, I would do nothing wrong…”
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This project is entirely written on an iPad