Please read “About this project and the Author” for more information on my project. In this excerpt, Daryl suffers another setback…
“I was happy and living my life in the moment, having finally stopped wondering where I would be sent the following day. My tenth birthday was fast approaching and as hard to believe as it may be and even though I was only a child, I was actually aware of my happiness, I was actually aware of my luck and the routine of our little family unit was of immense comfort to me and I was enjoying every single moment of it. Gerard and Grace seemed happy too and I was as close to Gerard as I had ever been to another human being. I say seemed happy because appearances can be deceiving. In retrospect, I now know that I was seeing my situation through the pink glasses of a happy child and I had forgotten that by feeling safe enough to raise my hopes, I had, at the same time and without realizing it, lowered my guard and was no longer on the lookout for negative signs. So it’s no wonder they had eluded me.
About a week before my birthday, Gerard and Grace sat me down in the living room for a talk. Grace announced that as much as it made them sad, as much as they loved me, it wasn’t working out for them and they had made the difficult decision not to keep me. My world was once again shattered but this time, I was struck with the most intense feelings of sadness and fear. Everything I had hoped for myself and everything I thought was finally mine like a home, a family, a name, an identity, all vanished in an instant. At that moment and for the first time of my life I asked myself the question “why me?”. Why did I deserve the pain of rejection? What had I done that was so bad to deserve this constant anxiety caused by the unknown? This is also when realized how the quest for happiness can sometimes make one surprisingly selfish. After I had become aware of how happy I was, I began to accept it, then I enjoyed it and finally but very rapidly, I became greedy for it. So greedy in fact, I forgot there were other people around me and I began believing that this happiness was owed to me…”
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